Struggling

The last few weeks have been a struggle.  I've been training hard despite a heavy workload at my day job.  Rides are done late in the evening, and dinners are done even later.  Sometimes it is a huge mental effort to swing a leg over the bike.  Sometimes I just want to kick back, drink a glass of wine and live a normal life.

When I start struggling like this, I make it a point to visit http://www.cardiomyopathy.org/.  I take a quick glance at the dilated cardiomyopathy forum.  This quick glance inspires me. There are so many people there that would love to be able to exercise, to live normal lives, to not worry about making it to the next day.

 There are many heroes at http://www.cardiomyopathy.org/.  Last year it was JimmyBoy.  Jimmy was a regular poster that encouraged and gave many hope.  He passed away last year from complications from a heart transplant.  He still lives on, however, on the site, every word of advice, every word of encouragement, is still there in the site.   JimmyBoy still lives!  This is awe inspiring!

Steve H is this year's inspiration. Every post has been positive, even in the face of dire circumstances. Steve H is struggling after a Left Ventrical Assist Device Implant(LVAD). The LVAD is supposed to help his heart rest, allowing it to recover and heal.

The operation to install a LVAD must be really tough. Steve H, with his wonderful sense of humor, with his toughness is struggling despite a lot of prayers, encouragement, and love from his family and friends. He is still having a rough go of it. It is heartbreaking, but awe inspiring at the same time.

I'm thinking of Steve H when I swing a leg over the bike. He's fighting for his life. Why should I be questioning a simple matter of throwing a leg over the bike and riding for 2 hours?

The rational part of my brain fights it. It's 7:30 pm, WTF are you thinking? Go drink a glass of wine and eat some dinner. Then it occurs to me that Steve H and JimmyBoy and many others would love to be able to ride a bike for two hours, or walk up a flight of steps, to live life normally. The ride is much easier upon this realization.